Yesterday was another medical shopping day. I was originally asked to have a blood test at a hospital lab. However, I had to decline. The last time someone tried to take blood from me, I got yelled at by two doctors, and I ended up leaving the emergency room three hours later in tears and without a real diagnosis. Like it's my fault my veins wouldn't cooperate, The next day, several people asked me if I was "using." So, we won't go there again unless death is iminent. I was ultimately approved for another much simpler lab test. I had my morning all planned. I could be at the hospital when the lab opened at 7:30 AM, get the quick test, drive down the road and complete a walkthrough at another hospital emergency room, and then go across the street for a final walkthrough at a surgery center. I could be home before 11:00 AM. Quick, painless, easy. Or so I thought.
With tape recorder going and camera in hand, I arrived at the hospital. I was immediately met at the information desk by a group of ladies I refer to as "the gestapo." This is my not-so-affectionate term for the hospital auxiliary workers at this particular facility. This is not the first time I have encountered these ladies. I am fairly certain it would be easier to breach security at the Pentagon than to go anywhere unescorted in this particular hospital with these particular women at the front desk. As it happened, the physician had not faxed over the order for the test, and I was not permitted to go to the lab. I was not even permitted to go (unescorted) past the front desk. I was turned away.
I came back later after I was instructed to demand the test without the doctor's order. Supposedly, this was allowed since I was presenting as a self-pay patient. So after spending 45 minutes there earlier and then completing my walkthroughs in another town down the road, I returned. By this time, it was already 11:00, and I should have been home. My mood was souring. I re-entered the hospital, confident and arrogant. I demanded my test. Again, I was turned away. I was beyond frustrated by this point - I was livid! I decided since I had gone all the way out there (twice), I was not leaving that place without taking pictures of something. So I decided it would be a good time to pick up the results of my gallbladder ultrasound from the last mystery shop I completed there. I was finally permitted over the threshold, escorted by "the new girl." I snapped as many photos as I could, which wasn't many because I was being watched like a hawk. However, unlike previous visits, I was finally set free at medical records. I couldn't believe it! The new girl had walked away! This was my golden opportunity. I quickly retrieved my medical records and began to look for the lab, snapping pictures along the way of trash in the hallway, a straw wrapper here, a napkin there. I wanted to find every possible infraction in these hallowed halls. This had become personal! I was so focused on getting pictures of the little things, I failed to notice I somehow made a turn that put me right back in the lobby. I started to u-turn, but I had already been spotted. As a certain teenager I know would say, "Epic fail!" Golden opportunity lost. I left the hospital defeated and dejected.
The day, however, was not a loss. The company arranged an alternate lab visit, and I was paid an additional amount to complete an experience survey about what happened at the hospital. Although frustrating, the day was profitable, and all's well that ends well. Still, I am going to have my revenge on the gestapo. Maybe not this week or even this year, but I'm not giving up. Because now it's personal.
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